How Jesus found a south Georgia rebel

Are you wondering how to die? I’m going to tell you a personal story, then share the answer I found to a question millions of people are trying to figure out!

In the beginning… I was a child, still being fed milk, so to speak. I didn’t know what this life was for. I took everything for granted, especially when life got hard. At a young age, I was like so many others who were raised in a broken home and then bombarded by peer pressure.

I’m sure you can see where this is going, but I’ll skip the sappy stuff and get to the point. I was a down south Georgia rebel, doing what I wanted and living by my own rules. I started smoking weed when I was around 15, and that opened up a whole new world to me. I began going to parties and enjoyed getting high to drown out all the worries of life (I know, how can a 14-year-old have worries?).

When I turned 17, I had it all figured out. Haha! I was able to party and make money at the same time and not have to work anymore. Truly this was the life, or so I thought. In reality, I was just washing away my personality and trying to mellow out the pain. It was only a placebo, covering up the problem and never fixing the real void I felt deep inside. That void couldn’t be fixed with drugs, sex, or anything else this world had to offer.

Please don’t judge me. I’m not trying to go off on a long spiel about how awful I was, but when I make my point, you’ll see why I’ve explained all of this. Thankfully, I never got any diseases or had any kids, or I don’t know what would have become of me.

Suicidal Thoughts

Well, somewhere around 17, I had given up on trying to graduate, and I got myself kicked out of my stepdad’s house. I had been caught again, and that was their last straw. Haha! I had really broken things up in my family.

I didn’t even try to call my dad. I took a backpack with some clothes and other stuff and walked to downtown Marietta, where some of my buddies would hang out. At a Starbucks over there, I became better friends with one of my schoolmates and offered him a job driving me around and helping me sell drugs. He took the offer and even gave me a place to stay, and I partied even harder than before. I had no reason to sneak out or hide anything. There were no rules, and I had everything I needed, or so I thought.

I was selling quarter pounds of weed and some other stuff here and there, making more money than the average worker. I had no reason to quit, but life changed in an instant…

I was drunk on MARTA after getting out of a concert at Willow Five Points, and so was my roommate. He wasn’t as bad off as me and was able to drive, but he had a new 300Z and hit it hard around a corner and oversteered, causing us to hit a fence and get stuck on a 4×4 post. We couldn’t get the car over the post to get home, and, well, we got caught trying to hide from the cops.

He went to jail. I blew into the breathalyzer and was completely drunk, but since I was only a mile from my house, they took me home. In the state of Georgia we have a zero tolerance law, and I should have gone to jail. I was also on probation and should have gone to jail and stayed there, but they didn’t realize that.

The next morning his family kicked me out, and I was back to square one, trying to find a place to live once again. At that age I couldn’t get a job, because I had been taken out of school (not by my own will) and I was emancipated, so I was considered a legal adult. Still, I couldn’t find permanent work, and the emancipation letter did me no good in getting hired. I also couldn’t get hold of any drugs. Where I had once made hundreds in one night, now I was completely broke and felt deserted.

I spent one night at a local party, and the next day I tried to sleep back in the woods behind a Save Rite. This time was different, though. I had come to the end of my rope. I didn’t want to go on with this life. My fire for living was exhausted.

I just wanted life to end. But in that moment, I thought about the end of life, and whether it was really the end or the beginning of an afterlife. I was raised in a Christian home, but back then I couldn’t see God in my home. Whenever anything happened in my family, I fell apart and blamed God for it.

I Want To Die

There, stranded in the woods, I began to realize there was no point in going on if there wasn’t a God. This world was too cruel, and there was no hope. I got down on my hands and knees and began to pray, asking God, asking Jesus, to send me a place to live, food to eat, and a job. If memory serves me correctly, I even made a promise to serve Him if He would provide for me and give me new life.

Coming to the end of your rope leaves you broken. I prayed a powerful prayer for about 5 minutes, in tears, asking Jesus to change me, change my life, and give me new hope and a new home. Then, the moment I said “Amen,” somebody yelled MY NAME!

I completely lost my composure. I thought the devil was out to get me! I grabbed my backpack and peeked out of the woods to see if it was Reco (the man who wanted to kill me). But to my surprise, it wasn’t the devil, and it wasn’t Reco!

How to Die to Myself

Turn to me and be saved, all you ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other. – Isaiah 45:22

A friend of mine came to the rescue, or should I say, God sent him to rescue me wink. I was invited to stay at his house for a week, and the whole time I was there, his mom kept asking me to call my folks. I had told her that my mom and stepdad had kicked me out, and that my dad was getting remarried and his future wife wanted nothing to do with me.

Not only were they on me to call my parents, but I still couldn’t get any drugs! Just the day before, I had been thinking about how to die, and now I was so confused! That may not sound profound if you haven’t been in my shoes, but I knew everybody, and I could get whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. The only thing we were able to get was one joint. I didn’t even feel the need to smoke it, since it probably wouldn’t have gotten me high.

There was also this strange feeling inside me from what had happened a couple of days before. I hadn’t told them about it. I kept it inside, trying to figure it all out.

My Suicidal Thoughts Lead To Peace

Then I was asked again to call my folks, and this time it rang in my head. I was curious what had become of my dad, since I hadn’t talked to him in over 6 months. So when I got a moment of peace, I called my dad, just so she’d leave me alone. Inside, I wanted to move back in with my dad. We used to have a good relationship until I screwed things up.

I called him, asked if I could move back in, and told him I wanted to change. He said to call him back in three days, and so I did. That phone call was quick. He asked me where I was and came to pick me up after I agreed not to bring any drugs into his house. I had told them that no one knew where I was or how to contact me. For all they knew, I had been shot and left in some ditch, or I had split town looking for a new adventure, since I was well known for pulling disappearing acts.

The very next morning, my dad took me to apply for a job. It was the first place I applied, and I got the job! Within 7 days, all of my prayers had been answered! At the time, though, it didn’t hit me like it does now, after I’ve had a chance to sit back, think over all the pieces of the puzzle, and see how perfectly they fit.

The very next day I went to work and found out that one of my good Christian friends, who had been in the worship band with me, was working there too! When I say good friends, I pretty much mean best friends, but us guys don’t talk like that. We had spent many hours at each other’s houses, raiding each other’s refrigerators and playing pranks on all the family members. He was my long-lost brother. A few years down the road, when he got married, I was his best man.

We are still close friends. God had it all figured out, down to crossing every “t” and dotting every “i.” No small detail was left out, and each one played a huge role. God really does work in mysterious ways.

A few months later, my dad and I were outside church just talking about everything that had happened. He told me that he had split up with his fiancée one week before I called. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to move in. It may sound sad that my dad split up with her right before they were going to get married, but God was telling him this was not the one. As I write this, I can tell you my dad has found the right one for him and is happily married to a great woman. Again, all part of the greater plan.

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. – 1 Timothy 1:15-16

I went from feeling like a nobody, someone no one thought about or cared about, to being a blessed man of God. I wasn’t the worst of sinners like the apostle Paul, but I felt darn close. I now know this story of mine wasn’t meant just for me, but to be a story of what Jesus wants to do in our lives. He wants to wash us completely clean from our filth and create in us a new heart.

I plan to fulfill my promise. Even if I hadn’t made that promise to God, I’d still serve Him! This is the beginning of my story, the beginning of many more miracles yet to come, and the beginning of a real walk with Jesus, a personal relationship with the Lord God Almighty. Amen!

Want to check out a story even more amazing than this? Take a trip with me to read about my near death experience when I had a serious motorcycle accident that left doctors challenging their own faith!

Do you want to know God in a personal way, like I know Him? Want to find out how to go to heaven? It couldn’t be easier! He loves us so much that He made it possible just by believing in Him and saying the prayer of salvation.